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Through These Heavy Graces
Composed by Allison Crowe
I’m not better than anyone
and you’re no better than me
So here we stand at the artifice
face-to-face in symmetry
I laugh when I’m afraid
and I cry when taken by peace
I shake through new beginnings
and I scream when I release
I want to breathe
but I can’t catch breath
I want to live
but I can’t shake death
And bathe in light
in the darkest of places
Tread lightly
through these heavy graces
Guilt crawls through my skin
and exits every pore
I exist a floating creature
of heart and bones, so sore
But you stand firm in faith
for your emptiness of soul
And I’m left here with the shaking
when laughter takes its toll
I want to breathe
But I can’t catch breath
I want to live
but I can’t shake death
Bathe in light
in the darkest of places
Tread lightly
through these heavy graces
And shadow takes his cover
It’s piercing with his eyes
No moral lesson learned here
No clever compromise
Just feign of retribution
and tears swallowed ill at ease
To wash the scars from inside
this doubt will not appease
I want to breathe
but I can’t catch breath
I want to live
but I can’t shake death
And bathe in light
in the darkest of places
Tread lightly
through these heavy graces
I want to breathe
but I can’t catch breath
I want to live
but I can’t shake death
And bathe in light
in the darkest of places
Tread lightly
through these heavy graces
Tread lightly
through these heavy graces
Tread lightly
through these, these heavy graces
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2. |
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Famous Blue Raincoat
Composed by Leonard Cohen
As Performed by Allison Crowe
It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening
I hear that you're building
your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now
I hope you're keeping some kind of record
Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
that night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?
Ah, the last time we saw you - you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
and you came home without Lili Marlene
And you treated my woman to
a flake of your life
And when she came back
she was nobody's wife
Well, I see you there
with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well, I see Jane's awake
She sends her regards
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way
If you ever come by here
for Jane or for me,
your enemy is sleeping
and his woman is free
Yes, and thanks for
the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good
so I never tried
Yes, and Jane came by
with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
on the night that you tried to go clear
Did you ever go
clear?
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3. |
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You All Haunt Me
Composed by Allison Crowe
I would take it back
if it was even real
I would tell you how
exactly how I feel
And it would be ugly
and you would be scared
Can’t you see my face?
Oh can you hear my voice?
Now, how can you tell me
that this is a choice,
that I asked for this?
Now, why would I do that?
When this is all I have
and this is all I am
You haunt me, you all haunt me
Now, if you think that I forgot
if you think that I moved on
I ask you - have you even met me?
what planet are you on?
I don't forget anything
even though I try
Maybe too intense
maybe too revealed
maybe madness baby
but you’re so, so concealed
I never saw a thing
This is all I have
and this is all I am
You haunt me, you all haunt me
Why did I do this?
Why did I say that?
and why did you pretend to care
when I know that you were watching me cry
yeah, you watched me die
When light circled my eyes
and my heart tried to leave me
My words were all gone wild
not even I could believe me
any more
you have to know that I tried
And this is all I have
This is all I am
You haunt me, yeah, you haunt me
You haunt me
Yeah, you all haunt me
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4. |
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Words
Composed by Allison Crowe
I'll sit here and I'll ruminate
My thoughts do not discriminate
There are tears behind my mouth
If I open they'll fall out
Breathe deeply, reign it in again
My patience it is growing thin
If I open up my mouth it'll all fall out
And all it takes is words
And all I taste is blood
And all I see
is blinding light
Now I can't breathe
I am so angry I can't breathe
A flash of darkness supersedes
And I try to reach you through the reeds
and the pitfalls of myself
I am becoming someone else
I do not know the way back dear
Oh, you will find no answers here
More questions than you wanted
will leave you cold and haunted
And all it takes is words
And all I taste is blood
And all I see
is blinding light
And I can't breathe
I am so angry I can't breathe
I cannot breathe
I am so angry
I’m so angry
I can’t breathe
And I can’t breathe
I’m so angry I can’t breathe
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5. |
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Better Man
Composed by Eddie Vedder
As Performed by Allison Crowe
Waiting, watching the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
as he opens the door, she rolls over
pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man
She dreams in colour, she dreams in red, can't find a better man
Oh...
Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know
she tells herself, oh
Memories back when she was bold and strong
and waiting for the world to come along
She swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man
She dreams in colour, she dreams in red, can't find a better man
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man
She dreams in colour, she dreams in red, can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
She loved him, oh, she don't want to be this way
She feeds him, oh, that's why she'll be back again
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man...
Oh oh oh oh oh...
Ah ah...
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6. |
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Control
Composed by Allison Crowe
At the end of the road
there is nowhere to go
and if I fell I could at least
claw my way upwards
And I know when I'm right
and I feel when it's real
but I still feel myself
walking backward
I could hold on
to these memories
or I could let go
but I would still not
feel in control of my soul
Are these thoughts in my head?
are these toes in my bed?
And can I feel anything
or am I cold?
Do I have all the time
in the world - is it mine?
Am I just getting started
or am I growing old?
And I could hold on
to these memories
or I could let go
but I would still not
feel in control of my soul
Well, hello tomorrow
I see you're cleverly disguised
as yesterday today
And if you don't mind
I have so much to leave behind
I don't need anything
I'll leave my bags with you
and walk away
And I could hold on
to these memories
or I could let go
but I would still not
feel in control of my soul
And I have held on to these memories
It's time to let go
And I am next in line
to take back control of my soul
to take back control of my soul
to take back control of my soul
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7. |
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Dissolve
Composed by Allison Crowe
Outside the day is waking
In my body the earth is quaking
But I sit so still and silent
You can barely hear me shake
And icy hands hold on
with a death grip to my conscience
I could shatter it again
But the base will never break
And at the end of the light
I will call to you
Yes, at the start of the night
I will picture you, too
And I will see the dark dissolve to nothing
And I will breathe again
I sit with open eyes
And I lay with wandering mind
And there are shadows on the wall
And their lies are never kind
But I could never sleep right
The day is my rest for wakeful nights
I shiver and release
and I feel my fears decease
And at the end of the light
I will call to you
Yes, at the start of the night
I will picture you, too
And I will see the dark dissolve to nothing
And I will breathe again
And it shouldn't hurt so bad
to open up my eyes
Sometimes it just does,
don't know why,
but it just does.
And at the end of the light
I will call to you
Yes, at the start of the night
I will picture you, too
And I will see the dark dissolve to nothing
And I will breathe again
And at the end of the light
I will call to you
Yes, at the start of the night
I will picture you, too
And I will see the dark dissolve to nothing
And I will breathe again
And I will breathe again
And I will breathe again
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8. |
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Famous Blue Raincoat
Composed by Leonard Cohen
As Performed by Allison Crowe
It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening
I hear that you're building
your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now
I hope you're keeping some kind of record
Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
that night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?
Ah, the last time we saw you - you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
and you came home without Lili Marlene
And you treated my woman to
a flake of your life
And when she came back
she was nobody's wife
Well, I see you there
with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well, I see Jane's awake
She sends her regards
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way
If you ever come by here
for Jane or for me,
your enemy is sleeping
and his woman is free
Yes, and thanks for
the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good
so I never tried
Yes, and Jane came by
with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
on the night that you tried to go clear
Did you ever go
clear?
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“Heavy Graces” is a new song set from Allison Crowe - and with this collection she’s writing, singing, playing piano, guitar, doing percussion, engineering and production, album art, photography – and, for the first-time ever, adding fiddle to her palette!
“Heavy Graces”, an album which includes new songs from the pen and soul of Allison Crowe, alongside her interpretations of tunes composed by Leonard Cohen and Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder, is released October 15, 2013.
Happy Thanksgiving – from Canada!!
released October 15, 2013
Allison Crowe - voice, piano, guitar, percussion, fiddle, engineer, producer, arranger, photographer, art director - and, well, everything that's on this record :)