Pillars

by Allison Crowe

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1.
Verses Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band All the verses I know Are song without a chorus All the air I breathe Is slow All these pages I’ve seen They got nowhere to turn The lake has run dry, try and there you are Ah, ah... All these lies you’ve told They come without a price You’re not forgiven, it doesn’t matter I didn’t have to think twice All the darkness I’ve seen I send over to yours I’ll never understand I’ve tried to hold you til you speak And the waves go by, and eyes are sore And I want it all, don’t ask for more And the world is broken, out of all I’ve seen You’re the only one who’ll ask for me And I know And I know I know / Morrison's Jig - Traditional
2.
Wildflowers Composed by Dolly Parton As performed by Allison Crowe and Band The hills were alive with wildflowers and I Was as wild, even wilder than they For at least I could run They just died in the sun And I refused to just wither in place Just a wild mountain rose Needing freedom to grow So I ran fearing not where I'd go When a flower grows wild It can always survive Wildflowers don't care where they grow And the flowers I knew In the fields where I grew Were content to be lost in the crowd They were commonly close And I had no room to grow And I wanted so much to branch out So I uprooted myself from my home ground and left Took my dreams and I took to the road When a flower grows wild It can always survive Wildflowers don't care where they grow I grew up fast and wild And it never felt right In a garden so different from me I just never belonged I just longed to be gone So the garden one day set me free I hitched a ride with the wind And since he was my friend I just let him decide where I'd go When a flower grows wild It can always survive Wildflowers don't care where they grow Just a wild rambling rose seeking mysteries untold No regret for the path that I chose When a flower grows wild It can always survive Wildflowers don't care where they grow When a flower grows wild It can always survive Wildflowers don't care where they grow
3.
All Your Favorite Bands Composed by Taylor Goldsmith & Jonathan Fritz As performed by Allison Crowe and Band feat. Sarah Melanie White Late night drives and hot French fries And friends around the country From Charlottesville to good old Santa Fe When I think of you, you still got on That hat that says “let's party” I hope that thing is never thrown away I hope that life without a chaperone Is what you thought it'd be I hope your brother's El Camino runs forever I hope the world sees the same person That you've always been to me And may all your favorite bands stay together Now I'm just waking up And I'm not thinking clearly so don't quote me With one eye open I'm writing you this song Ain't it funny how some people pop into your head so easily I haven't seen you in there for so long I hope that life without a chaperone Is what you thought it'd be I hope your brother's El Camino runs forever I hope the world sees the same person That you’ve always been to me And may all your favorite bands stay together I hope that life without a chaperone Is what you thought it'd be I hope your brother's El Camino runs forever I hope the world sees the same person That you’ve always been to me And may all your favorite bands stay together And may all your favorite bands stay together
4.
At Seventeen Composed by Janis Ian As performed by Allison Crowe and Band I learned the truth at seventeen That love was meant for beauty queens And high school girls with clear skinned smiles Who married young and then retired The valentines I never knew The Friday night charades of youth Were spent on one more beautiful At seventeen I learned the truth And those of us with ravaged faces Lacking in the social graces Desperately remained at home Inventing lovers on the phone Who called to say "Come dance with me" And murmured vague obscenities It isn't all it seems At seventeen A brown-eyed girl in hand-me-downs Whose name I never could pronounce Said, "Pity, please, the ones who serve They only get what they deserve" And the rich-relationed hometown queen Who marries into what she needs With a guarantee of company And haven for the elderly Remember those who win the game They lose the love they sought to gain In debentures of quality And dubious integrity Their small-town eyes will gape at you In dull surprise when payment due Exceeds accounts received At seventeen To those of us who knew the pain Of Valentines that never came And those whose names were never called When choosing sides at basketball It was long ago and far away The world was younger than today When dreams were all they gave for free To ugly duckling girls like me We all play the game, and when we dare To cheat ourselves at solitaire Inventing lovers on the phone Repenting other lives unknown They call and say, "Come dance with me" And murmur vague obscenities At ugly girls like me At seventeen
5.
But, Still Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band The air is still... but still. Why are we suffering? I am not one to not hold back So I’ll just sit here Thinking and thinking and thinking All the air is moving I see you in the dust Is that your skin Or just a memory I am invoking all of the powers I have , but there’s not much left To cry out To lie awake at night There isn’t much power left in my dreams In my dreams In my dreams In my dreams . There’s a chill , but still Everything moves around me when I’m frozen And I wring my hands And I hold my breath With my hands on my stomach I wish I wish I had more left And all of these voices That I hear Are gone so far away From there And I don’t know where he is So I can’t say I can’t say I can’t say Even if I Even if I Try I can’t say I can’t say Cause we all live, We are all alive, And we are all gonna die And I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry for that.
6.
Hours 04:33 video
Hours Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band All this shifting of the hours Goes towards the light And the presence of this emptiness Gives up without a fight And the movement of the river Goes towards the sea And this absence of fulfillment Presents itself to me Chorus Don’t be scared It’s just the wind And the minutes Don’t know where to begin And we are getting older It’s not amounting to anything to anything, so just let go Oh, these pockets of the sky They’re turbulent at best We laugh when we are frightened Not at our own behest And the chattering of spirits Keeps me wide awake Now this isn’’t something stolen But it’s something I can’t take Chorus Don’t be scared It’s just the wind And the minutes Don’t know where to begin And we are getting older And it’s not amounting to anything to anything, so just let go Now the sound of screaming beauties They cry themselves to sleep Whatever I’ve held on to Is never nothing I can keep I lay my hands across the stone And hold back my breath I haven’t gone but I am fading Lord, I scare myself to death Don’t be scared It’s just the wind And the minutes Don’t know where to begin And we are getting older It’s not amounting - it all adds up And who is counting Don’t be scared It’s just the wind And the minutes Don’t know where to begin And we are getting older And it’s not amounting to anything to anything, so just let go Oh, the shifting of the hours Goes towards the light And the presence of this emptiness Gives up without a fight
7.
Hopeless 04:33 video
Hopeless Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band Am I supposed... to breathe... the air I take pride... and I try And I hold… on to my hair It’s always too broken To know..., lying awake I am cold – And I need you now… as you are and I will breathe when I can I am hopeless I am hopeless I am hopeless I am hopeless I try too hard, I hold too close, I leap when I should walk I should stay… but I move. Where are you… I need... somewhere I have cried... and I’ve tried And I’ve told… but it goes nowhere It’s always too quiet To hear… I am insane… I am frozen – And I need you now, as you are and I will bleed where I stand I am hopeless I am hopeless I am hopeless I am hopeless I try too hard, I hold too close, And I leap when I should walk I should stay… but I move But I move
8.
Julianna 05:54 video
Julianna Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band It is far too much Too much she cannot hold She expects the worst She receives the cold It wasn't what she hoped, or believed But, it is what she’s got to get her through And another day just goes by for you Julianna Julianna She tried too hard to breathe under the water But it kept her down Julianna If you watch her walk away Don’t you dare complain She tried to give you fire But you drowned her in the rain Now, it isn’t what you hoped, or expected And you feel yourself as slighted, and rejected But still another day just goes by for you Julianna Julianna She tried too hard to breathe under the water But he kept her down Julianna It will not be that much Not much for you to hold But the little she can give It’s worth its weight in gold It isn’t what she needs, or deserves But you have depleted her reserves And another day will go by, go by for you Julianna Julianna She tried too hard to breathe under the water But he kept her down, it kept her down Julianna Julianna
9.
Pillars 03:43 video
Pillars Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band After all of the storms Are come and gone I can’t really be sure This is my pillar to stand on I’ve watched it crumble and fall Right at your feet, and There aren’t enough turns in the world To force these paths to meet Chorus: I can’t breathe So open a window It’s freezing So close it again You say: It hurts when I do this I say: So why do that This silence is killing me But it isn’t as hard as the fall So what do I do? I guess I just wait ‘cause trying to force time Is just tempting fate I am reasonably sure There’s no easy solution And I have never been good At conflict resolution Chorus: And I can’t breathe So open a window It’s freezing So close it again You say: It hurts when I do this I say: So why do that This silence is killing me But it isn’t as hard as the fall There’s a stillness here now A curious sort of quiet And my only strength left Is the comfort in leading the riot And I can’t make you believe In God I haven’t respected Not until my own certainty In the fates has resurrected Chorus: And I can’t breathe So open a window It’s freezing So close it again You say: It hurts when I do this So why in the Hell would you do that This silence is killing me But it isn’t as hard as the fall My pillar to stand on And I don’t know, I don’t know… This is my pillar to stand on… This is my pillar to stand on
10.
(Through These) Heavy Graces Composed by Allison Crowe As performed by Allison Crowe and Band I’m not better than anyone and you’re no better than me So here we stand at the artifice face-to-face in symmetry I laugh when I’m afraid and I cry when taken by peace I shake through new beginnings and I scream when I release I want to breathe but I can’t catch breath I want to live but I can’t shake death And bathe in light in the darkest of places Tread lightly through these heavy graces Guilt crawls through my skin and exits every pore I exist a floating creature of heart and bones, so sore But you stand firm in faith for your emptiness of soul And I’m left here with the shaking when laughter takes its toll I want to breathe But I can’t catch breath I want to live but I can’t shake death Bathe in light in the darkest of places Tread lightly through these heavy graces And shadow takes his cover It’s piercing with his eyes No moral lesson learned here No clever compromise Just feign of retribution and tears swallowed ill at ease To wash the scars from inside this doubt will not appease I want to breathe but I can’t catch breath I want to live but I can’t shake death And bathe in light in the darkest of places Tread lightly through these heavy graces I want to breathe but I can’t catch breath I want to live but I can’t shake death And bathe in light in the darkest of places Tread lightly through these heavy graces Tread lightly through these heavy graces Tread lightly through these, these heavy graces
11.
Instrumental Tunes: Black Velvet Waltz - Traditional Linkers' Lament - Composed by Allison Crowe The Merry Blacksmith - Traditional

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Celebrate today and e’er after with Allison Crowe and Band. Here’s Allison, Sarah White, Dave Baird & Keelan Purchase with music from “Pillars” – released today along with its sister, “Six More Songs”.

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released May 1, 2020

Allison Crowe (vocals, piano, cello, guitar, fiddle, Seaboard and more);
Sarah Melanie White (mandolin, bouzouki, vocals+);
Dave Baird (bass); &
Keelan Purchase (accordion, guitar, harmonica, vocals).

Allison Crowe: Composer & Co-Producer
Adam Thistle: Recording/Mixing Engineer & Co-Producer

Billie Woods Photography
Mind Palace Design

Visit us @ allisoncroweband.com

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Allison Crowe Corner Brook, Newfoundland and Labrador

"Why music?" "Why breathing?"

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